Mother-in-law won’t stop asking about kids

Tell Me About It

Dear Carolyn: Hello! Any suggestions for avoiding the ever-fun “When are you going to get pregnant?” questions? Husband and I are actually trying, haven’t been as successful as quickly as we’d like, and had some hard times — a really really really early miscarriage, not even comparable to many women, I know, but it still hurts. Talking about it is stressful and painful and not fun.

We’re at “that stage” when we “should” be having kids according to my in-laws; we have a house, have been married for a number of years, have steady jobs, etc. We told them once to stop asking because of the reasons listed above, but they insist they want to “be there” for us on this journey … and their form of “being there” just makes things worse.

My mom had a really hard time getting pregnant, so she’s super sympathetic, doesn’t push, but lends an ear when I ask. My mother-in-law, on the other hand, talks about how much easier it would’ve been if we started trying years ago, how she got pregnant SO QUICKLY with her two sons because she started in her early 20s, etc. I don’t want to and don’t need to hear any of that, so I’ve actually gotten up and walked away when she’s continued on despite my asking her to change the topic.