Drop the judging, join the circle

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May 5, 2018 - 4:00 AM

Humanity House

Tracy Keagle

Being poor is confusing. It is confusing for those who live in poverty and confusing for those who watch people living in poverty. When we see someone who is obviously poor making a decision that makes no sense to us, we question their thinking. We question their desire to not be poor, their work ethic, their education, and lots of other things. With the questioning also comes judgement.

Judgement does two things that are the exact opposite of kindness. It hurts the person that you are judging, and it hurts you. It makes you feel angry, upset, underappreciated, and overworked. It makes you angry because the other person, who is obviously poor, is irresponsible. And then you carry that anger with you. The person who is poor feels your judgement. They are aware of what they are doing and understand their own reasoning, but feel and sometimes hear your judgement. This makes them feel worthless, stressed and alone.

Now imagine this. You work hard and so does your spouse. So you decide to take your family on a weeklong vacation to somewhere fun. You post photos of your family enjoying a boat ride, or eating nice dinners out, and you are happy. Realize that the people in the financial class above you are probably judging you for taking that vacation instead of investing the money for your retirement. They probably think you are irresponsible to have a mortgage payment due, that you might pay a week past due just so you could take your family on a one-week vacation. They are questioning your thought processes, your ability to handle your finances, your understanding of money, and they probably feel like you should do better.

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