No alone time is harbinger of deep woes

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Community

February 18, 2019 - 9:28 AM

Dear Carolyn: My husband does not want to spend alone time with me, leaving me feeling frustrated. We have two very young kids and both work high-pressure, full-time jobs. We both are desperate for more time with our kids and try to maximize any opportunity we have to spend with them, but it never feels like enough. We never get time for ourselves, either, but have sort of given up on that for now.

I’d like to spend some rare time alone with my husband. He does not. I recently asked for a lunch or dinner every three months but it was clear he did not want to commit. He wants to spend time with me, just with the kids, too. He says he feels connected to me with them there and doesn’t want to miss out on time with them.

I don’t want to miss out on time with them either but I want a separate relationship with my husband. We haven’t been out alone together in over a year — and that includes our fifth wedding anniversary because he wanted to spend it with the kids.

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