Spouse doesn’t trust her with the baby

She's a former nanny, but stay-at-home spouse constantly hovers and offers direction. Her fears are interfering with the other parent's bond with baby.



April 29, 2020 - 9:36 AM

Hi, Carolyn: My wife and I have a healthy and happy 11-month-old little guy. I gave birth to him and she is staying home with him.

My problem is that it feels like she doesn’t trust me with him. She constantly hovers and tells me what to do. It’s frustrating because not only is this my child, too, and I have pretty good instincts about what he needs, but also because I was a nanny for many years and have a degree in developmental psychology. So, I definitely don’t lack the credentials.

Sometimes I just let her say her thing and leave it at that. But sometimes what she demands I do is very unreasonable — for example, not to bathe him when she’s not there. I get angry then and tell her to please trust me. Then she gets upset because I don’t do what she wants me to do.

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