In-law needs a divorce from friendship expectations

Daughter-in-law wants to stay friends despite divorce. That's not realistic right now.



January 27, 2020 - 9:50 AM

Hi, Carolyn: My 30-year-old son and his wife are separated with plans to divorce. The story I was given in a nutshell is that she had not gotten over her ex-boyfriend and is now back together with him.

I get it; life is messy, and they are young enough — and childless/propertyless enough — to start over without much trouble. My son is accomplished and handsome and will bounce back just fine. But he really loved this woman, and I hurt for him.

My daughter-in-law just sent me a long email asking me to consider maintaining a relationship with her after the divorce. We got along well, and in a way it would make sense, but I am finding that I just can’t think nice thoughts about her right now. What is the most elegant and fair way to say that? — N.J.

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