Friend wants to keep ex-girlfriend a secret

"Lying to her by omission is a stupid way to start a relationship. Show her enough respect to be honest. If she freaks out that you’re friends with an ex, then she’s probably not someone you’d want to be serious with anyway."



September 2, 2020 - 9:44 AM

Dear Carolyn: I’m one of those rare people who actually stayed friends with an ex-boyfriend. We do much better platonically than we did in the year-plus we were together romantically, and I consider him pretty much my best friend. We now live over an hour apart so we don’t see each other as often, but we text, DM or talk on the phone almost daily and meet for dinner several times a month.

I knew my ex was seeing someone, and next weekend at a party we’ll finally get to meet. 

My ex says “right now” he doesn’t plan to tell his girlfriend that he and I ever dated but wants to break it to her gradually. I don’t understand what there is to “break” to her. We weren’t engaged or anything and have been over as a couple for years now. This makes me really uncomfortable, but as long as I don’t have to tell any out-and-out lies, I guess I should go along with it. Thoughts?

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