Friend strikes up a relationship with her ex

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November 27, 2018 - 10:33 AM

Dear Carolyn: My friend “Jane” just told me, as a courtesy, that she has struck up a connection with my ex-boyfriend “John” and that things are headed in a romantic direction. John and I dated for about three years ending a year and a half ago; I consider him the one that got away and still have raw feelings of pain when I think of him. There are still local restaurants and social events I avoid so that I don’t have to run into him as I try to ready myself for the possibility of a new relationship someday.

Jane did not ask my permission to date John — I would not expect her to. She says she just wanted me to find out directly so it didn’t surprise me if I saw them together. I am worried our friendship can’t survive it if she starts dating the person who broke my heart.

However, that doesn’t seem like something that would be fair for me to tell her. What do I do instead? Stay quiet and silently pull away from the friendship if it turns out that’s what I need to do? — Maryland

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